Monday, 19 September 2011

scrambled eggs: my (possible) life in shambles [unedited]

Having options give you a wider range of possibilities. Choosing the right path that will pave way to the right direction is a tough decision. It is not advisable to sort it out overnight. A thorough scan of the brain and heart (and by that i meant metaphorically...i mean it literally just pumps blood) is implemented. Forget about the id, the ego is at work in partnership with the frontal lobe ( that the superego or something?). But the amygdala's occasional synapses hinders full focus concentration. Fret not, the right answer will come; be it in a form of a epiphany or plain coincidence. 

Even though the pressure starts to increase, keep press on. One must take CHANCES and weigh in CONSEQUENCES. At least, that is what you try to tell yourself. In reality, every option is laced with absolute despicable undeniable fear of failure. There is a also the mindset of an existentialist: "What is my purpose?" "How will I be able to satisfy my intrinsic needs?". Go forth and philosophize(?)...

Becoming a hobo is DEFINITELY out of the question. There is a sense of dread that accompanies the life of that of a hobo. A hermit lifestyle would not suffice either. Hello, multitudes-of-animals-I-am-not-Noah and welcome to my humble abode. The superego suppresses those ruminations. SAPERE AUDE. Dare to know. To go beyond the borders of your comfort zone. Keep steady the reins of your imagination within the bounds of reality. Awl iz vell [(it's how rancho pronounces it)-> movie: 3IDIOTS]. The zone of actuality is vast. Still the dust has not settled. Gravity is playing a prank on you. 

Impatience never really worked for anybody. It keeps the mind fixated on negativity and RIDDIKULUS ridiculous what-ifs: "What if it turns out to be bullocks?" "What if something goes wrong?" What if I regret about the whole shebang?". Yes, a whole lot of WHAT-IFs...

So stop hurting your brain and begin commencing action. After all, what could possibly (not) happen? Albeit the fear is very much pronounced, do not consign to oblivion that inaction may lead to a dire aftermath (or can of worms if you prefer). Not knowing what to write after another chapter is done is excruciatingly difficult to handle. 

Where should I  fare from here? I'm at a point wherein I just walloped some random git at the Leaky Cauldron. What in blue blazes... And here I thought everything would be smooth sailing after this whole hullabaloo. I reckon this whole mess is because of ME! I haven't fully grasped the concept of these sorts of things. How could I? No amount of books can provide me with an adequate answer. No, not even a green-lightsaber-weilding-puny-big-eyed-alien can do that. What I do know (nooooooo! really?) is that it is up to ME MOI AKO. and...that's not an easy feat to accomplish...

now, where do I begin?

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